Whether you’re organizing a shower (that’s you, maid of honor) or invited to one,
here are some do’s and don’ts to get you through the big event.
FOR THE HOSTESS
l Don’t be a stickler about etiquette rules that say a bride’s mother or sister can’t host the shower. Traditionally, showers are hosted by the maid of honor, but often, the MOH is a sister to the bride.
l Don’t — under any circumstances — allow the bride to host her own shower or send out her own invitations. Tacky.
l Do know that it’s fine to ask other bridesmaids to pitch in on the cost of the shower.
l Do settle on a theme — kitchen equipment, outdoors gifts, coed or women’s only.
l Do make sure everyone invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding. But not everyone invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the shower. The shower is supposed to be for the bride’s close friends and family members.
l Do make sure gift registry information is included in the shower announcement. (It’s OK to do this because the bride isn’t throwing her own party. Do not send gift registry information with wedding invitations.)
l Do plan an interesting menu — whether it’s dainty little sandwiches or the bride’s favorite take-out pizza, just about anything goes when it comes to food.
l Don’t hire a stripper. (If you must, save that for the bachelorette party.)
l Do make sure someone keeps a list of the gifts the bride receives and who they are from. That way she can write personalized thank-you notes.
l Do make sure the guests leave with a nice party favor.
FOR THE BRIDE
l Don’t be a pain.
l Do be gracious.
l Do open your gifts during the shower in front of everyone.
l Do thank your guests and your hostess or hostesses.
l Don’t delay sending thank-you notes. They should be in the mail within a week of your shower.
FOR THE GUEST
l Do bring a gift — unless you’re invited to multiple showers. In that case, one gift is fine.
l Do RSVP.
l Do know that $25-$75 is about average for a shower gift. Obviously, it’s fine to spend more and it’s also fine to make a gift if you’re handy.
l Do buy something from the bride’s registry — unless you know her super well or plan to present her with a handcrafted gift.
l Don’t present the bride with sex toys or other gifts that will make people blush. Again, if you must, save those for the bachelorette party.
Source: theknot.com; weddingchannel.com; staff research
SHOWER GIFT IDEAS
Here are some ideas from theknot.com
Traditional
l Candles/candlesticks
l China
l Cutlery
l Flatware
l Linens
l Pots and pans
l Picture frames
l Toaster
Not-so-traditional
l Day at a spa certificate
l Coffee-table book of her fave vacation spot or another meaningful destination.
l Espresso maker
l Wine, dessert, or fruit-of-the-month club membership.
l Silk sheets
l A tent for two
l Breakfast in bed tray
l Chocolate dessert cookbook
l A gardening set
